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We can all probably agree that dating is a hard task, right? Getting to know someone and figuring out what they are all about is difficult as it is. So when you throw in a specific type of personality, you may not be sure how to navigate the relationship. Unless you’re well versed in that type of persona. But if that was true, you probably wouldn’t be here reading this article right now, would you?
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You’re here because you are trying to figure out what dating a certain type of man is like. What type of man would that be? A submissive one.
Consider where the man you’re datinger, sleeping withis in his life. If he’s between 26 and 33, he may have commitment and even marriage on the mind, but after that period, the chances he’ll marry begin to decline, and at that point, it’s likely he just wants sex. If you really want to date a man with long-term potential, consider targeting men in this age bracket. 6 Signs He’s Doing A Slow Disappearing Act As your Guy Spy into the Male Mind, I’m here to spill men’s secrets, and here comes one that irritates me to no end the slow fade. This isn’t something all men do—only boys do this, and I wanted to tell you about it so you know. So you’ve met someone online who seems like they have real potential. After a few back and forth messages on the dating service, they get your phone number, communicate regularly, and you can’t wait to finally meet them. Whether they like to admit it or not, the truth is that most women test men. If you want to pick up a girl, it is quite probable that she’ll put you through a series of shit tests right from the first date to see if you’re boyfriend material before she actually agrees on entering a long-term relationship with you.
Submissive men are much different than your average type of male, so it’s totally understandable that you’d reach out for help. You’re probably baffled because you are not sure what to expect when it comes to being in a relationship with this kind of person.
First let’s go over a few things and then we can dive right into what submissive men are like when they are in a relationship with someone and what you should know about them!
What Are Submissive Men?
A submissive man is someone who doesn’t like to take charge in the relationship. That doesn’t mean he isn’t happy with you or that he has given up by any means. Quite the contrary, he loves this structure in the relationship and would not want it to be any other way!
Submissive men like to date women who can be responsible for most of the decisions and can guide them in them. Not only do they want to be told what to do when it comes to finances and every day choices, but they also really enjoy being told what to do when it comes to physical intimacy. This doesn’t mean that they want to be demeaned constantly or have you demanding things out of them on a daily basis. Being submissive makes them more sensitive, but it doesn’t make them weak at all. They still like to have some respect in the relationship.
What Does It Take To Date A Submissive Man?
Just like you expect certain things when it comes to dating a submissive male, they are also going to expect certain things out of you. There’s definitely a different type of dynamic when it comes to this relationship. A submissive male will only want to be in a relationship where their counterpart meets all of their needs. Some of these needs might include their partner to be dominant, confident and reliable. They want to feel like they are in good hands with the women they date. You might not be right for a submissive man if you cannot be all of those things for him.
Like if you, yourself, are submissive and sensitive, the relationship definitely won’t work out. There cannot be two submissive people in the relationship or the dynamic will blow up entirely.
What To Expect
Like we said, we are going to go over some of the things that you should expect when you are in a committed relationship with a submissive man.
Take a look below to find out some of the most important details when it comes to this relationship!
- Equality Comes First
Although you may think that there is no chance that your partner gives a flying crud about being treated equally in the relationship, you’d absolutely be wrong. In most aspects, yes, there is going to be a dynamic where you are the sole provider, decision maker and partner in charge. However, that does not mean that your partner will not want to be treated with decency. They are still a human being with real emotions. They are going to want to be treated as an equal before they are treated as submissive. It’s a good idea for the two of you to set up boundaries before getting too deep into your relationship with each other. That way you know where your limits in the dominant/submissive areas stand.
- You’ll Have To Take The Reigns
If you can’t be large and in charge a majority of the time, it might not be a great idea for you to date someone who is known as a submissive male. Why? Because they are not going to expect you to fall back when it comes to things that require you to make decisions. They will always want to be with someone who is confident in taking the reigns in any situation. This is especially true when it comes to being in the bedroom! There is very few times when the submissive man will want to be dominant, if there is any time all, when you two are being physically intimate. The place that you will find a submissive man being his most submissive is in private, when you two are getting freaky!
- They Might Be More Sensitive Than You Expect
This isn’t entirely true for every submissive man, but it holds true when it comes to most of them. Submissive and sensitive are two words that go hand in hand with one another. Submissive men can be more emotional beings, which is nice when it comes down to it. It means they will be able to connect with you on a deeper level much easier than a dominant male. However, being emotionally aware can also make it so that they are rocked a little easier when it comes to certain situations. You might have to be more careful of how you treat them, because although they want you to be the dominant person in the relationship, they will be more affected if you are not kind about it. Be cautious of how you fight with a submissive male. They tend to take things a little more personally and straight to heart.
- They’ll Worship You
Now, this isn’t always the case, but a majority of the time it holds up! Submissive men will cater to you in more ways than a dominant male might. They will not only be there for you emotionally in any way that you need, but they will be there to fullfill all of your physical needs as well. This is nice, but it can be a little overwhelming if you are not used to being treated in such a way.
- They Expect Stability
One of the most important things to remember when it comes to dating this type of man is that they will expect roles to stay the same throughout most, if not the entire, relationship. This means that you cannot just up and change roles. There is slight to no chance that he will be cool with you suddenly wanting to be the submissive partner. They will definitely expect stability in your relationship.
- He Might Be Quick To Bail
A submissive male will be very quick to end things between the two of you if they feel like the structure in the relationship has been compromised. They have a specific ideas for how they want their relationship to be. So if they feel like their needs aren’t being met, they’ll be fast to head out the door!
So you’ve met someone online who seems like they have real potential.
After a few back and forth messages on the dating service, they get your phone number, communicate regularly, and you can’t wait to finally meet them.
“This person is great!” you think.
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Then days turn into weeks. They still seem excited to talk to you, they still text and call regularly. They really seem like they want to meet up but each time you hint (or outright suggest) about seeing them in person, they stall.
Now if this has ever happened to you, you know how downright frustrating it can be.
So why do people who seem like they genuinely like you stall on meeting you?
1. Online admirers are an ego boost.
The feeling of being desired is a real pick me up. As long as you keep dishing out the compliments and worship (as many do in the flirtatious beginning phase)— they recognize that you’re someone who they can come to anytime they need a little boost. They don’t even have to leave the house.
2. Emotional support.
It’s really convenient to have emotional support on call from strangers at the drop of a hat.
Free therapy is pretty awesome, and women are particularly prone to dolling it out to people who haven’t exactly earned it. It’s luxury to have your emotional needs stroked without actually having to do the work involved to progress to having a real relationship.
3. They never actually intended to meet anyone in the first place.
They put up a photo and took the time to write a profile, except they don’t really intend to do anything except flirt.
This is weird since you’d figure if they went to the trouble to do all of this work, why not go the next step, right? Not for them. They’re content to leave all online dating in the online realm until the day they suddenly *go poof* and drop all communication.
4. They’re attached to someone else already.
Heading up the “more crappy things cheaters do” category are online daters who create emotional affairs with strangers while continuing to tell themselves (erroneously) that they’re not “actually cheating.”
Do they go all hushed?
Call you at certain times but take a reeeeaaalllly long time to respond other times?
Have and easy time getting back to you during weekdays but fall off the face of the planet on weekends?
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Not a good sign.
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5. You’re being catfished.
There’s always the potential that they aren’t at all who they say they are. This is more rare than the other options, but it definitely happens. Beware of anyone who doesn’t have sufficient photos, is really vague, or your b.s. meter goes off. ESPECIALLY if they stall on setting up a date.
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So What Do You Do About This?
Get Them In Front of You
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Avoid waiting more than a relatively short time (1-2 weeks) to see someone in person who you met online. When they initially get your phone number, it should be because you’re moving quickly toward a meet up. Not so they can send you goopy romantic texts about how you might be soulmates before even seeing them. An honest dater won’t want to waste either of your time or energy on getting too attached at this point. If you aren’t getting an idea that there’s a plan, MAKE A PLAN. Then:
If They Dodge, Run
Don’t entertain people who seem to not entertain your suggestions about meeting up. They might feed you platitudes like “I don’t like to rush things” (what?!? You aren’t proposing marriage, you’re suggesting an informal coffee date). Or “work is just so swamped right now, I might be available… next June” (If they’re too busy to see you in public for 30 minutes, just imagine what your life together will look like).
Banish Them If They Flake
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Once you finally schedule a meetup, if they flake on you, be super careful about giving them the benefit of the doubt and scheduling another meetup. They’re likely not to ever respect your time. Past behavior strongly indicates future behavior, so don’t be so liberal about giving them the benefit of the doubt.
Do Not Create A Fantasy Relationship In Your Mind
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Don’t fall for goodnight texts, daily calls and romantic emails. A real relationship will happen live AFTER you meet them. Meeting someone online and talking too much has a weird way of moving at lightning speed emotionally but leaving you awkward and ill prepared when they’re actually in front of you and you find out about their donkey laugh and how their photos must have been from their college graduation.