Seeing My Therapist In Dating Site

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If you’ve been asked out by a therapist, don’t run away just because you assume you’ll be overanalyzed and judged on your date. Therapists can be great romantic partners. Give therapy a chance. Fifteen reasons to date a therapist: 1. Therapists are great listeners, and intentionally do so without judgement. Therapists keep secrets. If you’re looking. Jun 30, 2009 This happened to me. I became aware of it because a particular dating site I use allows me to see who has viewed my profile. In other words, I see my therapist’s profile, in my listing of who has viewed my profile recently. This happened several times within a two week period. Secure, high definition video from Any device. Patients can join an online video session with their therapist anytime, anywhere. In a few years, Therapists might see 40 to 100 percent of their clients online. Online sessions require a bit of practice and discipline to make the sessions effective.

Original source: Rating Your Psychotherapist, a book by Robert Langs, M.D.

  1. The Referral: I know of this therapist because...
  2. The First Contact: This is how the first contact happened
  3. The Setting: This is how my therapist's office is set up
  4. The First Interaction: This is how my therapist handled the first interaction
  5. The Fee: This is how my therapist handled/is handling the fee
  6. The Schedule: This is how my therapist handled/is handling the schedule
  7. Privacy, Confidentiality, and Anonymity: This is how my therapist handles the issues of privacy, confidentiality, and anonymity
  8. The Therapist's Interventions: This is how my therapist intervenes
  9. Terminating the Therapy: This is how my therapist handled/is handling termination issues

Please be advised that the 'Rate Your Psychotherapist' test is only a guideline. I can not stress enough that each individual is different! You, and only you, know if your therapy is working/going to work for you. The Langes Guidelines are here only to encourage you to understand that YOU HAVE RIGHTS. And that it's ultimately YOU who decides who is best to give you the therapy you need.

Many patients feel obligated to stay with 'this-or-that therapist.' If you feel your therapist is the wrong therapist for you, you can change that. If you feel your therapist is great for you, it doesn't matter what any test says. Stay with your therapist and continue on your road to healing.

I hope this proves to be a helpful tool for you. It's designed to help you think carefully about your present therapist or, if you're looking for a therapist, use this as an aide in your search.

Read this letter I received from another professional before going on, and again, hear the words I just stated above.

'It is best to rate your psychotherapist from the first moment to the last. There can be no hard-and-fast rules; personal judgment will always come into play. As the ratings accumulate, keep a tally. High ratings support the work the therapist is doing, but they need to be understood in the context of the course of the therapy and how the treatment is going. Low ratings are cause for concern, but here, too, a perspective must be maintained. Consider the total picture of your life and combine that with the ratings of your psychotherapist, and use all available information for your assessment.'

Reproduced from: Rating Your Psychotherapist, a book by Robert Langs, M.D.

Seeing My Therapist In Dating Site

TABLE 1: The Referral
Rate Your Therapist
I know of this therapist because:

Sound Answers

  • My local Medical Society/Mental Health Association/professional organization recommended him/her.
  • My family doctor recommended him/her.
  • He/she came to see me for a consultation when I was in the hospital.
  • A friend who's a psychiatrist/psychologist/social worker/mental health professional recommended him/her.
  • My employer/principal/lawyer recommended I see him/her.

Questionable Answers

  • My former/present therapist recommended him/her.
  • He/she is the therapist I was assigned to in a group practice/clinic.
  • He/she is at the clinic where my health plan requires me to go.
  • I picked him/her out of the phone book.
  • I pass his/her office on my way to work.

Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

  • I saw his/her name in a telephone book/on television/in the paper.
  • He/she works in a different section of my office complex
  • His/her office is in my apartment building.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • A coworker/social acquaintance/relative sees/used to see him/her and says he/she is good.
  • I used to see him/her with my parents/children/spouse in family therapy and I liked him/her.
  • My daughter/son goes to school with his/her daughter/son.
  • I've heard him/her lecture and he/she sounds like a good therapist
  • He/she is my minister, so I know him.
  • I've read his/her books/seen him/her on television/heard him/her on the radio.
  • His wife/her husband is one of my friends.
  • I met him/her at a party and he/she gave me his/her card. I took a course from him/her and he/she seemed really insightful.
  • I used to date him/her/I'm currently dating him/her, so he/she must know me pretty well.
  • He/she is one of my father's/mother's colleagues.
  • He/she is a coworker and seems bright and helpful.
  • He/she is a friend/used to be a friend of the family.

Table 2: The First Contact
Rate Your Therapist
This is how the first contact happened:

Sound Answers

  • I made the contact by telephone.
  • The therapist answered the phone directly.
  • The therapist had an answering machine/service and returned my call the same day.
  • The contact was brief and to the point, handled professionally, and by the therapist alone.
  • A definitive appointment was made - to occur within a few days of the call.
  • The therapist gave me directions to his/her office.

Questionable-to-Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

  • Someone made the appointment for me (not an emergency situation).
  • I met the therapist in person at a walk-in clinic or in a hospital emergency room.
  • I called and left a message, but the therapist didn't get back to me for a day or so.
  • The therapist was booked up - he/she couldn't see me for weeks.
  • I made the appointment with a secretary.
  • I had a long talk with the therapist when I called him/her - he/she asked lots of questions about my symptoms and history.
  • I conveyed a sense of emergency, but the therapist didn't seem to take me seriously.
  • I got off the phone and realized I didn't know how to get to the therapist's office.
  • The therapist didn't seem to want to end the conversation, even though we had covered all the essential information.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • Someone made the appointment for me so that I'd feel obliged to go.
  • The therapist had his/her spouse call me back and make the appointment.
  • The therapist didn't get back to me, and when I called again, I found out that he/she had forgotten.
  • I told the therapist that it was an emergency, but he/she was completely insensitive to my situation and told me to make an appointment for later in the week.
  • The therapist told me all about himself on the phone - where he/she went to school, what he/she believes about therapeutic technique, what his/her spouse does for a living, etc.
  • Having ascertained my problems, the therapist prescribed medication over the phone.

Table 3: The Setting
Rate Your Therapist
This is how my therapist's office is set up:

Sound Answers

  • He/she maintains a private office in a professional building.
  • There is a bathroom readily accessible from the waiting room.
  • There is a door in the therapist's office that allows me to leave without having to go back through the waiting room.
  • The furnishings are tasteful but not obtrusive.
  • The windows have shades or blinds that are closed.
  • The office is soundproof.

Questionable-to-Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

  • He/she maintains a home-office separate from his/her living quarters.
  • He/she shares the waiting room with other therapists, so I'm usually not alone there.
  • He/she has an office in a clinic.
  • The only bathroom is just off the therapist's consultation room.
  • I always meet the next patient in the waiting room on my way out.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • He/she uses his/her living quarters as an office.
  • When I go to my therapist's home-office, I'm aware of his/her family.
  • My therapist's office isn't soundproofed; you can hear what's being said inside - particularly if someone is shouting or crying.

Table 4: The First Interaction
Rate Your Therapist
This is how my therapist handled the first interaction:

Sound Answers

  • He/she seemed to be concerned and listening.
  • He/she said very little - restricting comments to attempts to help me understand myself better.
  • He/she answered no questions, but sought more exploration from me.
  • He/she said nothing of a personal nature.
  • Except for an initial and concluding handshake, there was no physical contact between us.
  • In the second half of the session, the therapist briefly stated that he/she could help me and then proposed a set of ground rules for treatment.

Questionable-to-Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

  • He/she was angry.
  • He/she was indifferent.
  • He/she was seductive.
  • He/she talked almost as much or more than I did.
  • He/she asked a lot of questions, which broke my train of thought.
  • He/she kept giving me his/her personal opinions and told me about his/her private life.
  • He/she gave me specific advice on how to handle my problems.
  • He/she asked me to lie down on the couch for the consultation hour.
  • He/she tended toward nonsexual physical contact - such as giving my hand a reassuring pat when I was nervous and upset, etc.
  • He/she didn't say anything about whether he/she could help me or what the ground rules of therapy would be.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • He/she was very demonstrative physically - hugging me, touching my arm or shoulder
  • when talking to me, etc.
  • He/she came on to me sexually.
  • He/she was verbally/physically assaultive.
  • He/she was downright unprofessional - very personal in his/her responses and
  • self-revealing.
  • He/she was exceedingly manipulative.

Table 5: The Fee
Rate Your Therapist
This is how my therapist handled/is handling the fee

Sound Answers

  • He/she proposed a single, reasonable, fixed fee.
  • He/she didn't barter or bargain with me.
  • He/she holds me entirely responsible for the fee; I can't use a third-party payer.
  • He/she won't let me build up a debt.
  • He/she won't accept gifts or other forms of compensation beyond the agreed-upon fee.
  • He/she has not changed the fee during the therapy.
  • He/she holds me responsible for the fee for all scheduled sessions.

Questionable-to-Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

Therapist
  • He/she let me decide what I wanted to pay.
  • He/she gave me a fee range.
  • He/she told me that he/she was charging more (or less) than his/her customary fee.
  • He/she says that I don't have to pay the fee when I go on vacation, take business trips, get sick, attend a wedding or funerals, etc.
  • He/she accepts third-party payment (from parents, an insurance company, a governmental agency, etc.).
  • He/she gives me/accepts small gifts on rare occasions.
  • He/she lets me build up a temporary debt when I'm having a hard time financially.
  • He/she takes the fee in cash (and keeps no record).
  • He/she asks to be paid in advance of the sessions.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • He/she is willing to falsify a fee to an insurance company for me.
  • He/she negotiated a barter arrangement with me, which bypasses taxation.
  • He/she gives me expensive gifts and accepts them from me.
  • He/she accepts financial tips/stock information from me.
  • He/she traded me a low fee for cash payment.

Table 6: The Schedule
Rate Your Therapist
This is how my therapist handled/is handling the schedule:

Sound Answers

  • He/she arranged a definite schedule for my therapy - day, time, frequency, and length - and these have not changed through the course of my therapy.
  • At most, the schedule has changed because of a major change in my work/school schedule or life circumstances or a new and major professional commitment by the therapist.

Questionable-to-Unsound Answers: Reconsider your Choice of Therapist

  • There are minor and occasional shifts in the time and length of sessions; a rare emergency hour.
  • There isn't really much of a fixed schedule.
  • When I don't come, I don't have to pay, and I can have makeup sessions.
  • As therapy was coming to an end, my therapist decided to reduce the frequency of my sessions - a sort of tapering-off strategy.
  • He/she has lapses, but rarely: extending or shortening an hour, failing to be there for a scheduled session.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • He/she repeatedly changes the time and/or day of the sessions.
  • He/she often starts late because other patients stay past their scheduled times.
  • He/she often lets me stay longer than my scheduled hour, particularly if there's no one else waiting to see him/her.
  • He/she has asked me to shift my hour so he/she can see some other patient during my scheduled time.
  • He/she has canceled sessions in order to vote, move into a new house, take his/her dog to the vet, etc.
  • He/she keeps recommending that I see him/her more often than I want to.
  • He/she often walks out with me and hangs around making small talk before the next patient comes in.

Table 7: Privacy, Confidentiality, and Anonymity
Rate Your Therapist
This is how my therapist handles the issues of privacy, confidentiality, and anonymity:

Sound Answers

  • He/she is not deliberately self-revealing.
  • Total privacy and complete confidentiality have prevailed throughout the therapy.
  • When I ask my therapist about himself/herself, the response is an attitude of listening and exploration.
  • He/she has not prescribed medication.
  • He/she does not take notes and does not record the sessions.

Questionable-to Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

  • He/she, on rare occasions, has offered a personal opinion or alluded to his/her professional status.
  • He/she is obligated to send specific reports to my employer.
  • He/she has to provide nonspecific information to the agency that pays for my therapy.
  • He/she occasionally offers opinions or information about himself/herself if I'm persistent enough.
  • He/she prescribed medication when I was in a state of extreme emotional dysfunction.
  • He/she does not usually make physical contact with me, but has done so on rare occasions, for example, when I was experiencing a sudden traumatic loss.
  • He/she sometimes takes notes when I'm talking.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of this Therapist

  • He/she is more like a friend than a therapist - telling me about his/her own life, introducing me to his/her spouse, offering me the use of his/her books/home/car, etc.
  • He/she talks about my material in his/her books/lectures/classes.
  • His/her secretary clearly knows a lot about what I've said in my sessions.
  • He/she videotapes our sessions for use with his/her psychiatric residents.
  • He/she spends so much time talking about himself/herself that I have to fight for my own therapeutic space.
  • All I have to do is say I've been feeling depressed, and he/she will ask if I want medication.

Table 8: The Therapist's Interventions
Rate Your Therapist
This is how my therapist intervenes:

Sound Answers

  • He/she doesn't say anything most of the time; I do most of the talking.
  • When he/she intervenes, it's almost always to explain the unconscious basis of my problem in light of my unconscious perception of something the therapist said or did.

Questionable-to-Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

  • He/she is sometimes silent for long periods of time, even though I have dreams that suggest the silence is inappropriate (dreams about people who don't understand, are insensitive, neglecting, etc.).
  • He/she asks questions, repeats what I've said to clarify it, and confronts me sometimes on contradictions in what I've said.
  • He/she asks questions, repeats what I've said to clarify it, and confronts me sometimes on contradictions in what I've said.
  • He/she generally tells me what something I've said and asks me to say more about it.
  • He/she occasionally picks up on something I've said and asks me to say more about it.
  • He/she occasionally offers an empathic response, such as, 'That must have been very painful for you,' or 'It sounds like you were pretty angry.'
  • He/she has occasional lapses in neutrality - sometimes gets quite angry with me/says something flirtatious/seems bored/falls asleep.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • He/she is often silent for several sessions running, even though I've told him/her outright that I'm uncomfortable with it. In fact, I wind up spending a lot of those sessions talking about people who don't care about me or are afraid of a real relationship.
  • He/she is constantly directing me to talk about particular issues, such as, 'You haven't said anything about your mother for a while; how's that relationship going?' or 'I'm interested in the fact that you were smiling when you mentioned being hurt. Why do you think you did that?'
  • He/she is always telling me what I should be doing with my life, such as, 'What are you afraid of? If I were you, I'd go for it.'
  • When I said that I resented his/her accepting phone calls during my sessions/keeping me waiting/taking notes, he/she said that other patients don't see things that way, and that I have a problem.
  • He/she seems positively hostile to me -- alternately sarcastic and indifferent.
  • He/she is seductive with me and seems hurt when I don't respond.

Table 9: Terminating the Therapy
Rate Your Therapist
This is how my therapist handled/is handling termination issues:

Sound Answers

  • I introduced directly the possibility of ending therapy.
  • My therapist interpreted my unconscious allusions to termination
  • I felt a sense of new insight and deep understanding, and my symptoms had largely been resolved, so it seemed like the right time to terminate.
  • I set a specific date for termination, and it remained unchanged.
  • All the ground rules were maintained to the very last session - frequency, time, etc. Once therapy was over, I had no more contact with my therapist.
  • The therapist maintained his/her analytic attitude to the very end.

Questionable-to-Unsound Answers: Reconsider Your Choice of Therapist

  • My therapist introduced the possibility of ending the therapy because my symptoms seemed to be alleviated.
  • My therapist says we have to terminate because he/she is moving to another state/giving up clinical practice/taking another job.
  • My therapist proposed we terminate therapy even though my symptoms are not entirely resolved.
  • I think termination is indicated, but my therapist thinks we ought to continue, despite the fact that I feel much better.
  • As the termination date got closer, my therapist said we didn't need to see each other as often.
  • Toward the end of therapy, my therapist began to tell me more about himself/herself and treat me like a colleague.
  • I set a termination date, but we decided to move it up/back.
  • My therapist arranged for a series of follow-up visits just to make sure I'm really okay.

Dangerous Answers: Beware of This Therapist

  • We decided to end the therapy even though my symptoms hadn't changed very much.
  • My therapist continued the therapy long after my symptoms were gone.
  • My therapist told me very abruptly that we would have to terminate and never explained why.
  • I decided somewhat impulsively to stop going to therapy, and my therapist simply accepted my decision without exploration.
  • I decided to stop going to therapy, but my therapist insisted that I still needed help/wrote to my parole officer, saying that I shouldn't quit yet/told me that I'd be sorry.
  • My therapist stopped seeing me so that we could date each other.
  • When we knew therapy was ending, sessions got very informal - we'd see each other over breakfast or walk in the park, trade favorite books, etc.
  • As termination got closer, my therapist stopped interpreting and began to give me advice on how to handle my life once therapy was over.
  • After we stopped seeing each other as therapist and patient, we became friends.
  • We made arrangements to be in touch with each other professionally after therapy was over.

Please be advised that the 'Rate Your Psychotherapist' test is only a guideline. I can not stress enough that each individual is different! You, and only you, know if your therapy is working/going to work for you. The Langes Guidelines are here only to encourage you to understand that YOU HAVE RIGHTS. And that it's ultimately YOU who decides who is best to give you the therapy you need.

next:Some Known Triggers That Cause Switching

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2007, April 28). Rating Your Psychotherapist, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, December 22 from https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/wermany/rating-your-psychotherapist

After spending an entire decade in therapy of all kinds, testing with various therapists and psychiatrists, documenting my own life and conditions and staying permanently informed about therapeutic methods, I’ve put together a list of 20 most common things a therapist should never do in relation to their client. This list is not exhaustive, but it’s based on my own and my friends’ experience, clinical support studies and advice from good therapists I have met.

1. They can’t or refuse to give you information about the type of therapy or method they use.

This is actually the first question you should address a psychotherapist at your initial get-to-know-each-other session. They should be able to introduce themselves thoroughly from a professional point of view and explain their work method and type of the therapy they specialise in. First sessions are not just an exchange of information between the patient and the specialist, but also the negotiation of how the therapy will be assessed, how long it may last and what are the expected results based on the addressed goal. If your therapist can’t or won’t disclose such basic information, you should rather book a couple more appointments with other specialists and decide afterwards who’s best for you. First encounters in therapy are like job interviews, where you are the client and the therapist is your service provider. Make sure you know well who you want to hire!

2. They talk too much.

The focus in therapy is supposed to be on you – the client. You’ve reached your therapist’s office to seek advice, help, to understand or better yourself as an individual. A therapist should know when to open a different topic, how to guide you through a difficult emotional situation, and mostly, when to shut up. Unless they’re giving you important information about your treatment, progress or are asking more relevant insight from you, they shouldn’t be making the session about themselves.

3. They don’t keep a file or they forget important information about your case.

Naturally, therapists are humans and with the dozens of patients they see each week it’s normal to sometimes forget this or that. However, if your therapist makes a track record of forgetting crucial information about your situation, you should ask them whether they keep a file of your case. A patient file is mandatory and relevant in the sense that it contains all the important information about your past and current situation along with the progress your sessions make. If they don’t keep such journals, it’d be advisable to look for a therapist with a greater degree of organization.

4. They give unsolicited advice.

This is code red for leave, now, and it’s the one thing psychotherapists should never, ever do. Giving a patient life advice is unethical. The whole point of therapy is to become aware of your own thoughts, emotions and needs, and to be able to make decisions by yourself, no matter how difficult it is or how long it takes to reach that level of awareness. Seeing a therapist who acts like the sympathetic friend or parent who always knows what’s best for you to do is not only completely counterproductive, but can be dangerous if you’re on unsteady ground/don’t know what’s best for you.

5. They get too close to you…

…be it physically or emotionally. The relationship you develop in therapy should respect healthy boundaries. If your therapist touches you, hugs you or initiates other types of physical contact without having your consent, you are right to wonder if that’s okay, especially if you feel like they’re pushing too much into your personal space.

6. They make sexual advances to you

Run. Now. Or call the clinic they work with and tell. This is under no circumstance acceptable and your therapist should not even be allowed in his field of work.

7. They are late. Constantly.

Being sometimes late for a good reason is human, but if your therapist makes you wait for them constantly, and don’t offer extra time in the sessions, consider finding an alternative therapist who respects their clients.

8. They don’t talk at all.

Therapists don’t do much talking in general, because the focus of the sessions is on the patient. However, a mute therapist can be confusing and infuriating for most people. If they refuse to answer any of your questions, make no input and simply leave you to talk endlessly without any kind of guidance or attention, you may consider fishing for a different approach.

9. They abuse you, harass you or insult you.

I once saw a therapist who said my tattoos are an ugly way of trying to make myself special, and that they remind him of the iron stamps put on cows. While I was about to burst into tears, I stood up, kept myself composed, told him he’s an embarrassment to his profession and elegantly left. If something like this ever happens to you, know that you are not there to be judged upon your body, life choices, sexuality, health or general decisions. You are there to learn about yourself and heal with the help of a professional who is not allowed to hit you when you’re at your most vulnerable. From that experience, I learned I always have a choice, and my choice was to leave and never look back.

10. They don’t respect your personal point of view.

I used to be in therapy with this lady who liked to make recommendations for my love life. When I told her I am seeing someone new and that I’m not yet sure how the relationship will evolve, she leaned back on her chair and blurted the infamous “Well, you should date more people then”. Your therapist should never question your decisions or try to influence them, unless you are hurting yourself or thinking about suicide. She couldn’t seem to relate to my desire to date monogamously out of respect for my partner, so we parted ways.

11. They constantly avoid to talk about your progress in therapy or lack thereof.

Your therapist should be able to talk openly to you about your progress. If they refuse to debate on such matters, or keep you in suspension, be sure you can end it. Knowing your own progress is crucial to functional therapy.

12. They suggest they are the best therapist for you.

No one can tell you that. Period. If you are unsatisfied with the therapy, or you want to look for a different opinion, your therapist should be able to discuss this with you and assist you in making your own decision. If they threaten you, or say you won’t find anyone like them, you are very right to leave.

13. They don’t answer/return your calls.

If you’ve agreed that you can contact your therapist on their phone between sessions, they should be able to answer or reach back as soon as possible, especially if your case presents great attention or if you’re in the danger of hurting yourself. If they simply don’t return your calls or emails repeatedly, bring up the issue in your following session. If the issue persists, you know what you have to do…

Dating My Therapist

14. They say your struggles are not real or undermine your problems.

Seeing My Therapist In Dating Sites

Oh, Lord. How I like these scenarios. Basically, when a therapist says something like “Your struggles are not real”, they not only fail to understand you in any way, but they essentially fail at their job. A therapist is trained in determining the gravity of your issues and in finding the best solutions for overcoming them. If they say something like that, fire them mercilessly.

15. They focus only on the cognitive/emotional side of therapy.

Therapy is a process that in its very essence helps connect the rational and the emotional. While some therapies rather focus on one of these aspects, they should never eliminate the other from the therapeutic equation.

16. They don’t protect your confidentiality.

Therapy is confidential according to law in most countries. You should be signing an agreement with your therapist/clinic when you begin working together on your case that states everything you present the therapist with will remain confidential. They’re not supposed to give away information about your case neither to family members, your employer, or other people or organizations. Should they wish to discuss or collaborate on your case with another specialist, they should have your permission.

17. They criticise your statements or decisions.

A therapist is not your parent, friend, or any other random person you meet on the street who might have something to argue about your choices or remarks. They may ask you why you consider a certain decision – but never tell you that you’re wrong, because their mission is not to influence you, but to support you into taking the right decision for yourself at a certain time.

18. They want to befriend you.

Seeing My Therapist In Dating Site Online

In my early days in therapy, my then boyfriend suggested I could see one his friends for counseling. I did, but inevitably, with time, our relationship went sour and my confessions in therapy to his platonic girl friend from school altered their friendship. Eventually, she stopped talking to him because she was angry with the way he treated me. Friendship between a client and therapist is completely non advisable and a good therapist should always refrain from taking in a patient whom they know in real life. This is simply because the therapist must be able to assess your situation objectively, without any external influences that can interfere with the therapy. Steer away from being friends with them on social media or in real life, for your own good.

19. They make you feel worse.

This is widely common in therapy, but it’s more difficult to determine. Therapy means exploring bringing to surface deeply hidden or unknown emotions. This can result into you feeling more depressed, worried or anxious, as purging repressed feelings is often a painstaking process. However, you and your therapist should be able to assess the effect of therapy after the first 5-6 sessions. If you’re constantly feeling uncomfortable, inadequate or anxious about therapy, bring this up to your specialist. Unfortunately, if there’s no conciliation or satisfactory outcome, you may have to look for a different professional. Therapy is not your key to happiness and it definitely doesn’t mean you walk in there, leave your problems and then feel instantly healed – but it should make you feel more relaxed, confident and in touch with yourself after a couple sessions. If what happens there doesn’t make any sense to you, consider opting out.

Seeing My Therapist In Dating Site Images

20. They won’t admit whether they can help you or not.

I once had a therapist who sighed whenever I asked her if she thinks she can truly help me navigate my anxiety. This gave me the creeps in the beginning, then it made me feel much more nervous and insecure. I started to wonder what was I doing, whether she was refusing to answer on purpose or because this was a therapy technique, and why do I keep paying her. Ultimately, I gathered the courage to ask her upfront why she avoids answering. She replied she has yet to determine that. We were on our 7th session when this happened and back then I didn’t know so much about how therapy should happen or what a therapist is required to do. Now I know: they are supposed to discuss this with you in the first session, and if they determine they can’t assist you along the way, they should tell you so. Not all therapists might specialize in your situation, but you have the right to the best service and assistance, and a therapist who just keeps you in limbo to cash in more money from you or says they’re undecided is briefly playing with your time and health. Stay informed, and don’t shy away from asking anything you’d like to know. It’s your right.